The grantmaker diaries: Some statistics

Monday, 1 December 2008

Some statistics

Applications: 0. (Why?) Cups of coffee: 2. Tasks on the go all at the same time: 53. Grey hairs: many more than this morning.

At our latest Trustees meeting, a total of nine grants were approved, whilst thirty were either rejected at the meeting or intercepted by the Chairman in order to keep the meeting snappy. That suggests a 23% chance of success. However, if you consider that around 90% of applications we receive are so far beyond our criteria that they get filed WPB on arrival, the success rate looks more like 2.3%.

Should you, dear fundraiser, find this enormously disheartening? (After all, I don’t believe that we’re atypical.) Actually, I would say no. Because taking a very unscientific look at the success rate of those applications which clearly meshed with our criteria – geographic and thematic, looks to be in the range of 50-80%.

The lesson? Read the guidelines, friends. The challenge? Publicise them better, colleagues! And don’t be scared to pick up the phone, and so save a lot of time and heartache all round.

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Take it from one who knows

· Use A4 paper, and staple your application neatly in the top left-hand corner. Never use folders or fancy clips for an unsolicited application. They really are an utter pain in the arse when dealing a stack of half a million or so other applications.

· Don’t try to blind funders with science, even if your application is complex or specialised. I was told in my University days that the job of an academic is to make difficult concepts sound simple – not the other way around. Take the hint, or your application is likely to be filed WPB*.

· Invite potential funders to come and see you, by all means! Invite us to your events, too. We love the opportunity to get out of the office and get a sense of what’s really going on at the sharp end, though we can’t of course take up every offer. Don’t, however, try to come and see us. Suggesting that you might ‘pop in’ when you’re in the area is likely to make us curl up like frightened cats. We like our private space to be just that.

· Here you go grandmother, this is how you suck eggs. Read the guidelines, please. Pleeeease. If your target supports education for Mongolian goat-herders but excludes medical research, don't take the trouble to explain to us how your medical research will enrich the Mongolian school system. We will definitely not be impressed. WPB. Take my word for it.

* WPB = waste paper basket