The grantmaker diaries: August 2009

Tuesday 11 August 2009

Back from hols

Applications: surprisingly few. Emails: 2,946. Stack of stuff to deal with: About 2ft 3in high.

I've been on a beautiful holiday to France. Just lovely. Now I'm back piloting the desk in what is supposed to be our "recess" and I've rather a lot to catch up on. I let you know if, in the process of ploughing through it all, I turn up anything interesting!

Take it from one who knows

· Use A4 paper, and staple your application neatly in the top left-hand corner. Never use folders or fancy clips for an unsolicited application. They really are an utter pain in the arse when dealing a stack of half a million or so other applications.

· Don’t try to blind funders with science, even if your application is complex or specialised. I was told in my University days that the job of an academic is to make difficult concepts sound simple – not the other way around. Take the hint, or your application is likely to be filed WPB*.

· Invite potential funders to come and see you, by all means! Invite us to your events, too. We love the opportunity to get out of the office and get a sense of what’s really going on at the sharp end, though we can’t of course take up every offer. Don’t, however, try to come and see us. Suggesting that you might ‘pop in’ when you’re in the area is likely to make us curl up like frightened cats. We like our private space to be just that.

· Here you go grandmother, this is how you suck eggs. Read the guidelines, please. Pleeeease. If your target supports education for Mongolian goat-herders but excludes medical research, don't take the trouble to explain to us how your medical research will enrich the Mongolian school system. We will definitely not be impressed. WPB. Take my word for it.

* WPB = waste paper basket